In parenting, there are lots of ups and downs…frustrations and joys…worries and laughs!  When baby comes home, it does not take long to realize you are in for something totally new…a world you could never imagine.  And, this is not just with the first baby.  Chances are, the second and third and so on babies are all very different and bring with them unique challenges and joys!

I was at Sam’s last night, and after a stressful day, hit my point with probably my BIGGEST parental frustration!  The one thing that can take me from happy-go-lucky to absolutely at the end of my ropes frustrated in 10 seconds (or less)!  It is not my kids throwing a fit…that one I can usually ignore.  It is…getting them into the car seat!  Or maybe it is just getting them into the car in general.  They take FOREVER to get in the car.  It is like their brains shut off and their batteries die leaving them with NO ability to focus on the task at hand and NO ability to move any faster than a snails pace!  I will honestly admit that it is my single biggest frustration as a parent.  Or, at least the one little thing that can absolutely set me off! 

One day I was in the doctor’s office waiting to be seen.  I picked up a Parenting magazine and immediately noticed an article called “End School Morning Tardiness”!  I was so into reading the article that I secretly hoped the doctor (who is normally very prompt) was running a bit behind.  It is about one family’s issues with getting anywhere, including school, on time.  This is not really a problem at my house – my husband and I both stress about being late, so we try to get places on time.  However, that often means looking at the clock and realizing that if we do not leave right then, we will be late.  So, we grab the things we need and push the kids out the door and start hurrying them to get in the car. 

And….then….time….stops…………………………! 

The kids, who are just being kids and enjoying the wonder of the world around them, take forever to get in the car.  They want to go in a different door or want to wear their backpacks until it is time to sit down or want to turn on the dome light or accidentally knock their shoe off or notice the paper and want to grab it first or somehow get into the car with their head in the seat instead of their bottoms…literally, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING keeps them from just getting into their seats!!!!  This, in turn, leads me to yelling something like “JUST GET IN YOUR SEAT” or “HURRY and GET IN YOUR SEAT”!  I am not yelling because I am mad, I am not yelling to be mean – the yell is totally due to frustration.  Why can’t they just get in their freakin’ seats!  I mean REALLY!?!?! 

Sidebar – I think my heart rate and blood pressure just jumped while writing this.  I can feel the frustration of them not just getting into their seats!  AHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

Anyway, the article talks about “load time”!  Basically, if you need to leave at 7:15a to get the kids to school on time, plan to start loading at 7a.  This way, if the kids want to do any of the aforementioned things or you realized you forgot something or a necessary potty trip pops up, you are still on time.  You have allotted yourself 15 minutes for these things.  And, if nothing happens and you have a day when you load with no issues….you are early and NOT stressed out or frustrated. 

At Sam’s, I did yell at my daughter.  It was 5p, I was holding a big box of cupcakes, was looking at the traffic forming on Sheridan and could not stop thinking that if that traffic got any worse I was going to be late to my son’s birthday party!  It felt like 2 minutes before her brain stopped getting distracted by all the fun things in life and she sat down in her seat.  I yelled the typical, “just get in your seat” and she responded – “don’t be mean, Mommy…I am trying my bestest!”  And, she was right, she was trying her “bestest”, mommy however was frustrated by a chain of events that had nothing to do with her getting into her seat and was running late b/c of those events.  I realized this, sat the cupcakes down, took her out of her seat and offered her a sincere apology.  I did not intend to be mean or take my frustration out on her. (BTW…we made it to the party on time, but only after the cupcakes flipped upside down in my car!) 

In short, I think I am going to try the load time.  Maybe not 15 minutes, 15 minutes is like gold at my house, but at least 5 minutes.  That way, if the kids get distracted getting into their seats, I can take a deep breath and remember we are loading a bit early, it is okay.  After all, kids learn from exploring their world and, in the end, they are going to get into their seats.  Oh and…yelling is not going to make them move faster it probably will just slow them down b/c I hurt their feelings!  Here’s to “load times”…I will let you know how it goes!